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a new things in my life

he puts a brave front when hes with mie
he puts up a smile fr mie to see when hes with mie
he puts mie on top of his list
he doesnt thinks tht im at fault

im scared i might hurt him further
wat if things wont work out at all
especialy when he said is ther even a high chance tht we can be tgether?
i love to love him and i want to be loved by him but can i even confirm we can be tgther? is he even willing to wait? is he really serious abt mie?
i duwan to accept him just to have him as a replacement to frgt sumbody wich is nt worth of having mie, black..
if i noe tht its just wasting time remembering him, y cant i just frgt him?
i guess its easier said than done..
why are things complicating for us when we atually find them easy?

why does life kips twisting around?
good to bad and bad to good

its kinda funny tht sumtimes i think death is best way to end out troubles when i noe its sinful to commit suicide.
but having life which is painful hurts more.
but wat can i even do? nuthing at all..
???