sadisticdee

DEEdee~ just me :D

Saturday, October 02, 2010

alfian ♥

life's like this

at times, i am thinkingg this boyy doesnt knows what he wants.
he chose me but at times i feel that we are both from different world.
i love him as much as he loves me.
but sometimes thinggs just is nort workingg out as what we want it to be.
im confuse of what i want and what he wants :/

th life i want it to be just doesnt works out.
what am i suppose to do?
life's like this

i miss bloggingg. its been longg since i entered blogg :/
♥♥

Monday, August 16, 2010

life's like this

been a long time since i entered my blog.
still surviving jugakk.
well, fasting month starts alry ;
& its holiday now.
so i have time to log in to blog.
i think ive gained weight.
been eating alot during this fasting month,
trying to stop doing nonsense alry.
seriously..

raya shopping almost done! : D
its only a week fasting.
so slow !

Monday, August 09, 2010

life's like this

yes,
i dont want to be in a relationship.
i just dont have faith to be in a relationship for now,
even if i love someone,
i dont think i want to be in a relationship.
relationship just sucks.
gives ppl unhappiness,
and end up crying for a guy.
whats the point?
they dont even treasure us.
sometimes i feel i have to run after them to make me happy,
even if the right guy comes
how can i be sure hes the one?

Friday, July 09, 2010

life is unfair

life's like this

had a bad day ah.
vomit in school.
friends behaving so randomly attitude.
no one cares about the project at all.
& i cld see that im the only person engrossed
doing the project.
because of u guys,
i dont feel like doing anything.
as what my lecturer always says:
life is unfair;
nothing is.
thinking that everything will go fine
& that must think positive thinking thingy
doesnt works anymore laa.
-.-
whatever it is,
life is still unfair

Friday, July 02, 2010

life's like this

feeeling bored & vexed
glad that school's reopening sooon
eventhouu
i had to admit--
school is tiring & makes me sleeepy sometimes
well, at least if i go school
i have things to do.
study, exams, tests.
"great. i love it"

mom says at my age now
i have to think of my future & career.
she wants me to focus in nursing
& stop playing around.
damn!~ i hate getting older.
(NO)MORE playing.

guess i have to really focus in nursing
right now.
moms' right.
i need to think of my careeer
else, i'll be the last one out
when everyone goes out to work
after graduation.

i want to graduate fast.
god, please pass all my exams
WITH flying colours.
else, i have to face the same papers & teachers
ALL the time.
with naggings*
that includes my parents.

plus i wanna get my sneakers.
super have to work hard for it.
:D

Thursday, July 01, 2010


can i have more of the strawberry wafle?! it taste great. specially bought from korea
from my: aunty : D

I want to own a vespa

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

life's just like this

i just want peace in my life.
life's just like this

i went online shopping ytd.
confirm buying 77th street tshirt and pink polkadot shorts from her.
total sum~25.
meeting her later by 2plus collecting my clothes.
finally a new set of clothes to wear.
gosh! i really have to save up money.
cant spend too much.
its better to have money on hand than broke,.
like what people say--
u'll never know when you need it so badly.
feeling bored at home.
facebook nothing interesting.
blog- no idea what sld i slam on the keypad.
haighs!~
i'll think of something to type, when i got an idea.
so bored

Monday, May 17, 2010

i'm lost

life's just like this

i am restless, and i keep trembling.
Everyone watch me as i descend
into a feeling thats overwhelming me
i finally stopped,
stopped making sense.
i cant stop talking to myself,
i'm a desperate cry for help.
run dont walk the sky is falling through
dont talk. tonight i'm so confused
i'm lost, i'm lost with you.
i dont care where we are,
or where we heading to
but i know i'm lost,
i'm lost with you.
your mouth keeps moving,
but i've lost focus now
clock keeps ticking,
times running out.
where were headed there
is no heading back
tripping ugly, im losing ground.
for the record, when i'm with you
things are looking better
for once, everything is brighter
than the darkness before you.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

life's just like this

surgical ward was fine.
but then i couldnt stand it if people are so a-seeker & rude.
instead of welcoming ite students to the ward,
we got a unwelcome frm the ass clerk!
irritating!
she was so rude even to my CI.
i cant believe that even a clerk could attitude like that.
do work also like just to please the sister.
hello, so old ready havent grow up uhh.
attitude problem one.
since you cant respect us,
dont expect people to respect you
=.=

Sunday, May 09, 2010

my unforgettable birthday celebration

life's just like this
070510
i thought that my birthday was forgotten.
until everyone wishes me & i was happy.
super happy.
during my birthday, i was working afternoon shift.
so i didnt get to celebrate my birthday at all.
until, my bff came down to sgh during my break time just to celebrate my birthday with me.
it was zaidi & liling.
they came down just to give the cake & the presents despite having their busy scheduole.
although it wasnt that long i spent time with them but the 45 minutes was meaningful.
i was happy on that day!
shared the cakes with my staff & sister.
all of them wishes me=)
i got present from my staff flora too.'
cant forget the 4weeks ive spent therre.
it was a memorable 4weeks and a HAPPY BIRTHDAY indeed.
080510\
today was unhappy.
no one asked me out to celebrate my birthday.
my friends all paitao me!
sad=(
finally, mom asks me to go out watch movie with my siblings.
end up, we watch IROn man 2.
super hot siaa that guy!!
hehe...
we manage to meet up with my cuzz.
she gave me presents too!=D
glad she still made an effort to meet up with me although shes with her matae.
hehe thks cuzz.
love you loadds & thks for the present.
i love it.
THANK YOU=D

Friday, May 07, 2010

life's just like this

happy

17th

burpPdayy

to

ME !!!

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

JERKS

life's just like this

stop behaving like jerk laa you!
super irritating siahh!
ehy nak panggil budak salakao turon pon akue tak pcl laa!!
no big fuck pon.
merepek ahh.
takd balls uhh kao.
you are so egostic.
adee mistake, mengaku and change jehr laa.
orang ckp ckit, tak happy.
tak habes2, "you nt happy uhh, come down uh"
merepek ahh!
menyusahkn orang jehh!
kao pkir akue takot peh nan budak salakao kao tuuh..
skalie akue report krng,
satu2 cabot lari uhh.!
KENTAL.
GROW UP!!

Friday, April 23, 2010

everyday life

life's just like this

210410~
HOT NEWS :
fainted ,
almost fell to the ground when my staff manage to grab me from de back & walked me slowly to de chair .
checked my Bp , super low & my face was so pale .
incident ~! i was helping doctor with de procedure .
something got to do with needles ,
i couldnt take it seeing de needle being poked to the patient .
*i could feel de pain =.=
during de procedure ,
i excused myself cos i felt terribly nauseous .
manage to walked myself to my central station feelin freakin dizzy .
felt like i was falling .
when takin de few steps , my eyes were open but my vision was black & my ear drums were blocked .
i cant see or hear anything .
only i knoe i felt someone grabbing my arm from behind & put me to the chair .
SUPERR scaryy .
thks staff for helping mie out on that dayy ! =D
220410
lots of my patients wanted to get discharged .
they write in about mie and my frends for good service .
felt happy !
we get lots of compliments and gd feedbacks from our patients .
bonus points !!
i also manage to get the staff to sigb for mie my logbook .
yes ! hopefully can finished it soon before my last dayy ther .
works' quite fun nowadays .
i felt belong there =D
i still rmbr de first week ,
i was so super lost . but now , i'm so lovin it !
glad im a nurse !~

Monday, April 19, 2010

imy

i miss you when something really good happens,
because you're the one I want to share with.
i miss you when something is troubling me,
because you're the only one who understands me well.

i miss you when I laugh and cry,
because I know that you're the one who
makes my laughter grow and my tears disappear.

I miss you all the time,
but i miss you the most when i lie down at night

and think of all the wonderful times
we spent with each other for those were some of

the best memomorable times of my

life♥

190410

life's just like this

today ie work alone.
my partner, raheem left mie out.

he didnt came for work today.

keep spaming call him & even called his house but it was not

answered at all.

he just MIA.

out CI finally left a msg to him.

he finally replied back saying that he wanted to quit nursing.

heard about the info,

i was freaking shock.

i was afraid i might have to work alone with all the male patients in

my ward.

pathetically my room doesnt have female patients.
t
exted him, he said it was a false alarm.

i cool down!~

he said he had troubles at home earlier on & he apologised for

giving a false alarm to us.

he'll come tomrw for work.

hopefully he doesnt do that anymore!!

today's work was okay even without a partner.

but i had to rush things too seeing that i'm alone for the day with

only staff nurses.

just ate maggee today for break.

vending machine doesnt have milo anymore.

FED-UP!!~

drank coffee which is so super bitter!!!

dont wanna drink vending machine coffee anymore..=.=

went home, had a small fight with brother.

super irritating, finding fault with mie.

best thing i just complpain to my mom,

and he got a good scolding!

hahaks!! serve him right for giving mie the nudge as soon as i reach

home!

nothing else to write on.

chao!~

Monday, April 12, 2010

attachment

life's just like this


had attachment today .
i guess it was okay ,
although it was a little boring .
todays' weather was weird for my body .
i was feeling both hot & cold at certain times .
when i was outsyde of de lecture room at sgh ,
it was super hot .
felt lyke stripping .
when i was insyde de lecture room ,
i was shivering .
cant decide whats the temp for me .
after lunch @ houseman canteen ,
i had my hospital tour .
a little lost cos sgh is so damn BIG !~
wonder how would i find my way to de ward next time .
hopefully i dont get lost in de hospital .
had a few more talks ;
felt lyke sleeping . tahan only .
finally blah !!!
went home with linda .
we were laughing & giggling in de train lyke nobody business .
felt so crazy on de way home .
hahaks ! enjoyed gg home with her .
hees~~
attchment gonna be 3 months .
wish mie luckz , babyZ !~

Thursday, April 08, 2010

ATTACHMENT

life's just like this

eh attachment starting soon luh sehy .

excited doh !

cant wait tuh see whats held for me in de ward=.=

hopefully the staff nurses will "bless" me .
please give me no trouble .

all i want is tuh work in PEACE*

hahks..
hopefully everything turns out well for me in these 9 weeks of attachment .
oohhlalaaa !!!

Thursday, April 01, 2010

life's just like this

my GPA score sucks big time.

losing mood already.

my bio sucks man!

having a bad day already!
got a bad lecture from my parents!
haighs!

hopefully do well for semester two!

haighs,!
dont know what to type already!

BYE!!!

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

life's just like this

my ray of happiness is vanishing.
i dont feel love,
happiness or joy.
sometimes i wonder why life seems like a wave.
it just seems so tiring, confusing,
complicating with lots of
un-happiness, hatred & stress.
i dont get whats love
whats happyness and joy
whats life?
it just seems gone
after this day
290310

trip at genting & melaka

life's just like this

went genting.
had a veryvery long trip.
slept in the car for quite a long time.
finally reach genting during the wee hours.
smell the fresh cold air.
and it was cold.
stayed in an apartment called ria apartment.
the apartment was so big which was able to fit 2 families.
it ws super fun.
had a gd sleep.
didnt need aircon either. it was already cold. freezing cold,
regret didnt bring gloves at all.
the next morning, went genting,
it was sunny but still freezing cold.
i have no idea whats the temp.
i just know im nt used to the weather.
went to theme park genting. super duper fun.
i took up every challenge by playing all of the scary 'games'
the coaster,
the scary superman
space shot
spinner.
etc.. it was awesomely cool but scary,
i felt as if my heart was taken out!
went eating at the resraurant just opposite and near to the casino.
shucks! wish i coulg enter the casino!
age not enuf=.=
(cut short)
went melaka the next day,
super hot!
but glad, went shoppin and did lots of camwhore.
storys' not that detailed. theres still lots more.
interested, meet me personally.
hahs!
enjoyed the trip!! =D

Monday, March 22, 2010

GOINTOGENTING

going to

GENTING

on the

26th_friday night

BE back

on the

28th_sunday night

CANT WAIT to go there.

weewooo!~

shopping ! & camwhore :]

Friday, March 12, 2010

life's just like this


today was boring.
stayed at home all day doing nothing.
got some friends,
texting mie
to keep mie alive
from boredom.
went skewll ytd with hairee,
collect results.
we slack after that.
bought asap.
slack at bk,
smoke tgt.
then we went sengkang.
slack in the library.
had fun with him.
he was sweet..
hopefully we slacked tgt again.
*intend to forget him*
start new again.
hope that god give mie a chance.
its so complicating.
dont know how ie manage to like ree.
but ie did.
know he likes mie too.
maybe...
havent made a move yet,
but ie hope he does.
hahaks..
holiday is boring.
wish ie could go skewll.
or maybe go lepak.
today blogging is so complicating.
like prata.
dont know what im typing either.
boring boring boring boring boring.....
everybody comes home late today.
what will ie do???
BORING..........
go online also nothing.
DUll..
~

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

good & bad memories

life's just like this

the good memories was spending time with my friends in skewll
&
learning new stuff abt nursing.
as obvious,
there are bad memories as well
&
yea its true i deleted all the bad stuff in my blog abt people.
must learn how to forgive and forget bad incidences
&
not taking to heart.
hahaks~ and another thing SUHAILI
i decided to forget him.
its better this way.
i dont want to cling on not happening relationship!
hahaks(:
somehow i have to let go of it..=)
right??

skewl's out

life's just like this

i'm happy that skewls' out
and attchment coming soon
but sad to leave the loved ones.
ms rahimah one of them.
she's been not only the best teacher but
also been the guidance and my wall in part of my life.
really gonna mish her.
glad shes in sgh,
able to see her again!
i hope the fam would go all the way for attchment.
jyjy guys!
gonna make new friends during attchment.
gonna be so much fun too.
hope that i will survive in attchment as well.
hahaks..
new beginning starting again.
its gonna be fun!

Friday, February 26, 2010

26 feb 2010

life's just like this

today i got my nursing studies results!
awesomely i passed and i got a grade i didnt expect i would get.
just one more mark to A.
hahaks..
its ok, next time exam will try harder.
i pass my NS phase test, pass my paper!
wondering hows my bio gonna be.
hopefully i pass(:
today asap2 with the gang again.
heavy man! trying to control.
i made a promise, anyway, its for my own gd like what sharen said.
trying hard my friends.
nabil talked abt my bb ezynn again.
fuck him man!
seriously he does behave like a girl sometimes.
gossipping all the time.
wonder how his gf could actually tahan him.
hopefully one day, he get his retributions back.
tmr going to body world with the skwl.
cant wait.. wakaka..
hes not going, sad sehy.
cant see him.
LOL!
hopefully to have fun tmr!

Saturday, February 20, 2010

200210

life's just like this

today's been a bad day.
phase test~ vital signs was the worst.
the teacher was strict or shall i say,
picking up on me.
every step that i did dint even impress her.
and she claim i was slow too.
i felt very sad & disappointed.
i dint expect things to turn out quite badly.
i breakdown in skwl today.
i dint expect to cry out so badly.
i cudnt stop crying.
i was worried , scared and pissed off at the same time.
i cudnt think of anything.
all i know was,
whats done is done.
i cudnt do anything more.
the phase test was over.
i dunt know what to do or say abt it.
bertawakal jek whether i pass or not.
im so upset today.

Saturday, February 13, 2010

what i do today~!

life's just like this



~ go school

~ do practice for vital signs

~ makan at east point

~ 'smoke'

~ go tamp library lepak

~ camwhore

~ GO HOME

Friday, February 12, 2010

skewl's stress

life's just like this

life's abit like shit nowadays.
stress uhr with skewl..
blood pressure finding is just so difficult.
i dont even manage to get a pulse of my patient.
its kinda stressful and get on my nerves at times.
nowadays too,
i get hot-tempered easily in class
and as a result,
i became a FANATIC.
quarrreling with ppl.
i wonder would i pass my phase test~ vital signs.
im praying hard..
i woild pass my vital signs without retesting.
help help help!!!!

Monday, February 01, 2010

life

life's just like this

he wants us to be one soon..
as much as i want, i cant..
and im nt ready..
i dont want to be with him as unofficial girl
since hes still with his current girlfriend.
too much to think now.
i really hope he understand what i mean by official..
in the mean time,
i dont want to pressurize him
nor do i want to pressurize myself thinking abt it.
i just want to concentrate on my family and studies life.

hopefully things would get better soon..
feeling stressed up nowdays..
and abt the enemy in class,, rahmat..
i really hope to be friends not foes anymore.
i dont want to have enemies..
cos i dont see a point having one..

:((

my gd friend

life's just like this

been through alot in school,
i have no idea whats going on in my life.
not been easy,
my classmate has a crush on me,
and he confested to me a few times already.
been feeling kinda bad,
cos i bring him down everytime.
he said he thinks we have no chance of being together one day,
somehow i think that way.
but then at the same time i didnt mean to hurt his feeling in any way.
no matter what,
i still treat him as my friend.
i wonder how will he take the truth.
he really wants me to be his girl one day.
i dont know how to explain to him.
hope he really understands it though...

hes a gd friend of mine,,
and i dont want to lose that friendship with him!

Friday, January 29, 2010

what goes around comes around

life's just like this

saw my skewl primary friends again.
not all of them bt still i manage to meet some.
shamir , shafiq , hakim.
kinda shock,
shamir & syafiq still rmbs me,
a pity hakim forgotten me.
huhuhr..:(
went home with syafiq today.
we had a long talk.
abt our life & our primary skwl past.
kinda cool though..
shock to find out most of our friends turn to
MATS.
expected..
hopefully to see the rest soon..?

what goes around comes around.

Sunday, January 17, 2010

life's just like this


i'm not done with my resume hwk!
no more stress..
but still need to STUDY=.=
cannot give up
must be strong
NO hankypanky


Friday, January 15, 2010

life's just like this

first assignment hwk.
stress ready,
dont know what to write.
sleepy plak tu,,
then stilll need do!
haighs,, mom bising again..
same old stuff.
haighs....
bingit!!
SKEWL ADE freaks!
in my class. pangai sah smue!
somehow, i feel iuncomfortable with some of my classmates.
this isnt a gd new year,
its just the same stuff again.
back to the square.
friends are like shit,
hypocrites;.
fr0nt nice, bACK talk!
i dislike rahmat , the slumber in my class.
pangai pukimak~!
THE REST entahlah, smue hypocrites.
i tot rahmat is a nice GUY.
turns 0ut to be, he's not! ngatkn bleh jdi kwn baek,
NOW NO WAY!
dont know uh what to continue,
bye.

Sunday, January 10, 2010

NURSING

life's just like this

been a week in nursing.
quite fun!
lots of things to study & feeling stressed up
bt then at the same time,
having lots of fun!
gosh.. lots of hot guys doh!
bt still, hey just mingling around huh..
wakaka..
ehy, my classmate babe confessed to me sia..
sial lah! quite shocked uh.
aru one week,
still i find him brave.
at least he dare to confess..
eventhough he know the answer was....
i dont like him.
hmms, just start skewl.. dont want think abt relationships for nw,
want think abt studies for now..
kla, chao for now.
update soon..