sadisticdee

DEEdee~ just me :D

Thursday, December 31, 2009

2010

life's just like this

i hope 2010 would be an interesting year for me(:
skewling in ite simei, taking nursing.
successful interview,
hopefully my medical results are ok..
start skewl by 4th jan, monday..
so excited..
hope that it'll be a gd year in 2010.

gd year i hope.
gonna get busy now.
with skewl and stuff.
i hope i'll still be in touch with boyfwends &
girlfwends thou..
gonna miss them..

happy new year to all my fwends and those reading my blog,
stay happy and have a gd 12 months ahead.(:

xoxo,,, hugs&loves..

Saturday, December 26, 2009

stuff i did today

life's just like this

i'm just slacking at home.
anira came, well we kinda whine out together(:
haha, watch movie at home, eat, went to the salon, shop, blog.
had fun!
hmms MY HAIR IS LIKE A noob egypt hair disaster.
haha, well at least it look gothic!
haha!
got an interview at simei by 29th,
im nervous.
and hey im glad that ain and ayu got called for interview too(:
nothing else to gossip(":
CHAO..

Thursday, December 17, 2009

someday

a new things in my life

someday i wish
things would just be fine like how i want it to be.
i want
ain&adam to be happy tgt always.
i want
my sister to have a boyfriend of her dreams like what she wanted.
i want
couples to stay happy
i want
my family to be happy always wit/w out problems.
i want
the world to be in peace, no war.
i want
ppL to be confident and satisfied happy with their lifes.
i want
to give ppl regardless criminals, hypocrites, bitches, sluts, bustards, the young or old, etc..
a chance to mend for their mistakes they have done or things they want to do,
because i feel ppl deserve to have a chance to turn into a new leaf.
ppL do make mistakes in their lives.
i want
kids to behave like kids
&
adults behave like adults.
in this world,
from what i see,
its the opposite.
kids are behaving like they're adult
& adults are behaving like kids
both in a bad way!
i want
to see the future
so that i can change bad things for the better.
i want
the world to have a passionate heart.
i want
to marry to my dream beau.
[only god knows who i want]
i want
to have the feeling of being a mother.
i want
ppl to appreciate what they have now,
and treasure it.
dont make mistakes in life,
and got to know you regret it in the end.
Why have regrets when you can make proper decisions?
Evertbody has brains to think,
i'm sure they know what they want to achieve.
For the better.
i want
to live happy with my friends.
there's been a lot of conflicts & some just went MISSING
if only,
i could turn back the time.
IF..

there's alot of things i want in life,
to come true,
but some just..
can't be true.
i guess sometimes i have to be realistic for what i want.
but i've never give up,
i know that some day, just once,
my WANTS would come true.
its just a matter of time,
i don't know whether it will happen
but
i'm waiting.........

Monday, November 30, 2009

dreaming or for real??

a new things in my life

had a bad sleep last night.
i woke up at 2.09,
start hearing things outside my window.
baby crying..
it went on for like two hours.
my sis woke up @ 4plus.
guess she went to loo.
i felt relieved!
i talked to her abt it.
she tried to calm me down,
she said she cudnt hear a thing,
felt confused!
so she let me sleep with her.
able to sleep after half an hr.
woke up at 5plus & went to sleep back to my place.
still wondering if that sound is for real.
dun wana think abt it,
hopefully nothing happen tonyte.
PS~ the second time which is happening like this.
the previous was a lady singing..
blahblah!!
hais!!!!

my outing with liya faM!!

a new things in my life

281109

went theme park with liya & family!
had alot of fun!
we went...
biking,
wild & wet,
gold card,
superman,
haunted house,
roller coaster,
blahblahblah!
had alot of fun!
although the last part rains...
but we still had 1 long day FUN!!
love this day!
my one of the most happy2 day ever!!
hehe..
love to spent time with liya & family & hairul!!
hehe....!!!loved to spent more time with them in further future!!
love you guys lots!!! mmmmmuuuuuaaaaahhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ps~ sorry liya lmbt update. i just got to use the lapPy only today hunney!!
hehe.. u takecares! we'll contact with each other soon!
keep in touch baybeh(:

Monday, November 16, 2009

what i did today

a new things in my life


161109
i went out with cousin liyaa today
practically we went out to find work
as a part of an excuse
to actually
spent time with each other
so we did multi-task todayy
we gossip,
we talk&chat,
we laugh,
we walk around,
& ofcourse
find work.
we manage to get at least 2 shops
desigual & top-shop
we just did an application form for desigual
&
top-shop we have to go for the interview this wed
i really hope me & liyaa gets it
if i dunt, i think its realy the end of me
FINDING WORK AGAIN
haha!!!!
had fun today,
spending time with her although it is only for
a short while
but we had fun.
the best thing is'
we
CAMWHORE IN THE TOILET
THE SAME USUAL PLACE
AS WE WUD ALWAYS
TAKE PICTURES
toilet(:
haha.. well i guess thats a little bit of our
TRADE-MARK
hurhur((:
wud be going for interview this wed
god and ppls--
please pray that i get this job..
god--pls make this wish come true!
hopefullys(:
amin.. hurhur,,
i guess thats it.
continue next time(:

Friday, November 13, 2009

nothing to update

a new things in my life

particularly nothing to talk abt anymore.
everyday same old ting.
sit at home do housework.
and watch tv.
and eat
and sleep.
and text.
and dream
say in short..
laze around.
haighs.. bankrupt redy so have to be a gd girl and stay at home
until i get my next allowance.
shld have save some money man!
liya just text me.happy she texted,!
hope she pass her O!
dunt worry.. im looking forward to my plans!
shopping and camwhore with cuz! sister! frends!
in the mean time hopefully thers something to do.
hahah..
=.=

Friday, November 06, 2009

PAY

a new things in my life


I GET MY PAY.. HEHE.. NOW CAN SAVE UP.. TO GET THE STUFF I WANT! HEHEHE.. NOW I REALLY DUNT MIND WORKING FOR MY MOM COMPANY..
FREE BREAKFAST
FREE LUNCH
FREE DRINKS
FREE SNACKERS
& MY PAY!!
OFCOS NOT A FREE LOADER BUT IF I CAN GET FOOD WITHOUT PAYING,, ITS MUCH MORE FUN! HEHEHE..
HAVING FUN IN LIFE NOW,.,.
WHICH IT STAYS LONG LIKE THIS..
HAPPY LIFE
HAPPY FAMILY
HAPPY BF
HAPPY GF
HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY

i get my pay soon

a new things in my life

wee hee!
had fun today.
although tiring but then i had fun
& im not bored at all.
spent the whole day packing stuff.
dunt mind doing it everyday.
at least im out from home
& doing something meaningful.
ate the whole day again(:
haha..
& he told me he miss me.. haha(:
lols cant believe it at first but then..
maybe he wasnt joking bah..
haha.. and yes bf i miss you too..
kinda dunt know when can go out wit you..
hahahahaha!!
but then we still contact each other mah..
haha..
takecares ok bf, stay out of trouble.
REMINDER..
miss all my boyfrends..
wakakaka...
nothing to say ready..
looking forward to another fun day(:
chaos((:

Wednesday, November 04, 2009

to my dearest boyfriend

a new things in my life

i miss you when something really good happens
because you're the one i want to share it with.
i miss you when something is troubling me
because you're the only one who understands me so well.
i miss you when i laugh and cry
because i know you're the one who
makes my laughter grow and my tears disappear
I MISS YOU ALL THE TIME,
but i miss you more when i be awake at night
and think of all the wonderful times
we spent with each other for those were some of
THE BEST MEMORABLE TIMES OF MY LIFE

everything's back to normal

a new things in my life

yeah thats ryte. everything' back to normal. kechiks fine so far i guess, he's fine just came back from court(: hopefully that kid doesnt find any more troubles.. unfortunately that kid found my blog.. congratulations to u for getting my blog!): hmms seems lyke that kid wud know whats been going on in my life.
haha.. theres nothing to do at home besides housework but its not that boring as i expect it to be. seems like i enjoy lazing around doing housework and nothing else. haha((:
phews.. she stops talking abt that guy to me now, happy(: but not for long.
hurms.. everybody is busy doing their own stuff.. and im still doing nothing.
been eating alot everyday and i just dunt get fat.
too bad for me. want to get fat also cannot.
ohs me and shasi talk last nyte. well hes leaving on the 23rd official date. hopefully hes leg wouldnt be of any troubles. i know he badly want to have the opportunity to go there play soccer thou.. haha.. on the 7th im not sure if i can meet him either, maybe i'll just keep the bracelet to myself till i meet him in school for the N level results. at least he still can meet me in school in december. hurms abt the hug,, keep dreamind abt it(: haha.. even if i cant give u the hug at least im here to talk to you and ure able to see my smile??? haha.. later my boyfren jealous if he knows im hugging you shasi=.=
haha.. so anyways takecares thou..
nothing else to type abt,
chaos.later(:

Sunday, November 01, 2009

AInN

a new things in my life

i want ain to be my part time lesbian partner!!
plewse!!):

bestie

a new things in my life

bestie leaving spore soon,, flying to london.
hope for him the best and bonjour.
i hope he live up his dreams & goals.
please dunt give them up because of me.
firstly its not worth it &
i definitely dunt want to be the cause of you giving up ur dreams.
anyways, eventhou i cant be with you like what you want it to be,
im always ur bestfren & sister.
i never forget wat uve done for me.
thank you for everything.
im sorry i turn down u but i think its the best.
i dunt want to be with you out of sympathy.
you'll find a great girl for yourself vasanthan.
u'll live happy.
i hope you find a great girl at london.
haha(: stay happy ok.
i wish all the best over there.
take good care of yourself and also wish you lucks for ur N level results.
erms my wishes are for you & our friends..
cheer up kay! things might not turn that bad.
sorry i kinda of running away from u, frankly..
but just feel weird talkin..
soorryy..(:
but anyways just text me if you want to bah.
dunt koll.. haha. i feel awkward..
chao! takecares((:

Monday, October 26, 2009

a new things in my life

which way would you go?
the left where theres nothing right?
or the right wheres theres nothing left??
a new things in my life

nobody understands how much i miss you
i miss how much we used to talk
& i miss all the things we used to do.
i try not to admit to myself
that i still feel this way
noboby knows that i still wake up
thinking of you each day.
i still think of you & i really do miss you
i would give up everything i have
To be everything we're not

Sunday, October 25, 2009

pissed!

a new things in my life

kinda weird thou. me and my friend~ anonymous.
he wanted to huggis and kisses with me when we just chattd only for 2 DAYS. lyke wth kinda shock thou. dunt know whether hes desperate for a gf or what but i'm definitely not gonna make him use me as a subs only man. i'm not even sure if hes serious. better not. (: well, but we can be friends thou i dun't mind.. ~ anw i;m wondering am i a teddy bear? why does ppL wana hug me?> wakaka.. weird ar.
still missing the avenged sevenfold CD.
wonder when can i meet didi to get him the CD//.. have to thk him thou for helping me keep the CD till its collecting dust.. hahaXD
wondering wondering..
plus i'm pissed with not getting jobs yet.. none of the manager has even call me yet.. wth ar. trying to be patient but getting pissed sia! fuck man! but i guess i'm gonna keep searching, haighs.. wana get allowance lah sey. my hard earned money leh! then can go SHOPPING.. haha
just waiting.. to get the job..

Friday, October 23, 2009

adam & ain

a new things in my life

two of my gd friends being together..
surprising news!
yeahs they both got us shocked and amazed by it.. congratulations ain! you enjoy doing tht everytime dont you.. giving suprises! haha.. well
,
wish the best for you both! be happy.. and setia pade yg satu!
treasure each other aites! ((:
my wishes are for you guys too !

be happy ain (:

surprising news

a new things in my life

he text me again. it was a kinda confusing things.. didnt expext him to text me after so long.. he said .. well i tot of you so i msg you.. surprised he still tot of me.. well, we us chatted like normal friends do. nothing else. dont wana think far thou.. just friends wud be fine.. i heard from hes bestfrend he wanted to patch with me but he wont since i cant stop smoking.. he still thinks i smoke and perhaps drink? dont know.. dont wana think abt it.. yeah i DID STOP ALREADY SINCE LAST WEEK.. but i didnt wana let him know.. i mean he wants to patch wit me only if i stop doing all those shit.. which means if i havent stop he wouldnt want to be wit me at all... that kinda crap.. he wants to be my boyfrend but wasnt even there for me at all.. those hard times i had, it was all filled with sorrow but he wasnt even there. when i had my hard times trying to stop he wasnt there.. i was sad he wasnt there.. i didnt wana text him thinking he might have another love in his life so i didnt text him at all.. everytime i click his name on the phonebook on my phone i type .. HI, how are u? u didnt text me at all, are u fine.? was waiting but i failed to send tht ms to him thinking i dont think its worth it? so i didnt send the msg.. bet he didnt even think of doing tht,, wud he"? nope..
so i let it be.. never did i expect he msg me ytd.. surprised..
well i'm not gonna tink of anything.. just chat with him as FRIENDS(: thts the best(:

Friday, October 16, 2009

a new things in my life

dah gilerr seyy dgr lagu A7X..
kecohs sah!

avenged sevenfold

a new things in my life

im loving
1)-- a little piece of heaven
2)-- almost easy
3)--seize the day
4)-- afterlife
my TOP 4 loved songs(:

wee................

Monday, October 12, 2009

loves(:

a new things in my life

Liling Laifeng Jiali Shuzhen Yanyee Ainn Sharinaa Zaidii Ian Saleem Shasi Reddy Anira Sandhya Sapnna Kok Mas Bren Kumaran Hairee Jeel GaryDang Adam Ayuu Ahmad Sufian Hafeel Habeeb Alex Chinpeng Josh Mar Jun Nikki Jiya Blake Audii Bob Fadli Liana Eka Liyaa Qilaa Farhann Haikal Hakim Hannah Kenny Nadia Nizam Reddy Sera Weixiong Shaiful Shakila Teeyah Sophia
& lotsyLotsy more not mention yett..
heheh..



~~is lOvEd bY mE(:~

this is life

a new things in my life

~.~ eh eh ppL i lawa sangat ker pah?! confuse sey.. bnyk2 pompan lawa2 pegi lar kat dowang.. they'll be more than happy tuu accept u guys sah!
trust mii lah.. ii not the worthh it gurl tuu go for..
i bweak urr heartt gortt lah..
iim not tht nice sweet little pie nuraa uu guys used to think ii am anymore..
i guess shes not here anymore..
its new life for herr now arh..
dont let guys ruin her,, she ruin uu((:
so to all sweet guys out therr, thinkk twice before uu wanttt tuu askk mii for a relationshipp! and ii WONT STEAD WITH ANY OF MY FRIENDS ANYMORE>> ii rather not have a boyfriend as long as i DONT LOSE MY FRIENDS! ii made a mistake once with kumaran.. now ii seem to lose a friend like himm.. ii aint gonna make the same mistake again:( and to all guys out there,, NO OFFENCE:)) EVEN IF THAT GURL DID SOMETHING WRONG, DONT EVER EVER LAY UR HANDS ON THEM!! ONCE YOU HIT A GURL, THERES NO TURNING BACK! ONCE YOU HIT ONCE, THERES ALWAYS AGAIN & AGAIN SO DONT MAKE THE MISTAKE!
(((:
& tuu ma dear sweet frends out there!!~
ma wishes are furr uu to pass N level,, praying for each of yaw guys!
love yaw guys so much!!
((:
takecares guys!

Sunday, October 04, 2009

no confidence

a new things in my life

as days pass by,
i kiip thinking wud i want to find another guy or i just stay single?
sometimes being single is fun.. u can do anything you want.
at the same time, having someone by ur side is so also sweet.
hais.. cant decide on anything.
boys,, please dont expect mii to choose which one shld i stead with..
its weird! and uu guys are better off without me..
haha..
having 6 guys is TROUBLESOME TO CHOOSE..
so im choosing non of uu..
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
later babes..

exams siol!

a new things in my life

sial larh..
exams N level now stress siol..
cant stop thinking whether i will pass not
hais..
sial larh.. fucking scared sia..
will i manage to get thru N???
hais...

Monday, September 28, 2009

the guy whos irritating me??

a new things in my life

his name is atan aka shasi.
i have no problems with him except for the fact he likes to call my house and hp unnecesarily.
my parents definitely dont like it especially my dad.
he burst into fumes when he found out atan aka shasi keep calling our house for nothing and wasting time talking unnecessary stuff which are no regards to school matter.
hopefully he stop calling my house and hp lest before my dad scold him like F!
hes got his gurl to chat with too!
apparently too, im always gonna be fine eventhough im sad.
thks for your concern but you dont have to ask me about it all the time, but hey i appreciate it, i know youre concern bt theres a limit to it too right..
i dont like guys asking all the time. and the reason i dont always open up to you but i open up to other ppl like fadli, ian and audi is becos i felt comfortable talking to them. they didnt had to ask me anything. they would know the reason why. and i just open up to them like so.
hmms im sorry if you might feel hurt after reading this becos you might think that "nura, i know you longer than them why cant you tell me anything?" the same reason i give you, i dont feel comfortable telling you my stuff that much.
and we dont know each other that well as you think you do.
if you do, you wud know what im thinking. you claim me bestfriend but you dont know know me at all.you just know the outer as what you see. yes we know each other for 4years but that doesnt mean you know inside out that well. well nvm if you cant understand what im talking about. you'll soon know. and i admit myself too im distancing myself from you.
whatever it is, you are still a friend to me(:
thks anyway for everything atan.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

confused

a new things in my life

i want to forget you but i still love you!
what am i supposet to do???

fadliyasin

a new things in my life

a good friend of mine.
been helping me with my problems lately.
been advising me with alot of stuff.
he wants me to be strong.
hahas.. maybe i cud be strong for the sake of my friends, but im not sure.
im trying hard to forget him too.. u know fadli its quite hard to forget tht dumb ass.
as usual, i start my nonsense again.
i try to change urh.
but i aint know how.
im jst trying my best.
give me hope and courage to change for the better.
please..

blahblahblah

a new things in my life

hmms,
i cant forget him.
i duno why.
but i cant.
i started drinking "water" only to find out i cant take it
i sleep in skul like the whole day
i take asapasap like almost everyday, finishing soon.
haha.. i sumtimes wonder i know tht its wrong to do the things tht im doing now,, so why am i still doing it?
my teacher wants to send me go counselling.
plus she wants me to tell her whats going on with me
but i just duno what to tell her. she knows the real reason but i cant admit it.
i think im being atupid doing stupid stuff.
its not even worth it
my dear friends, i will try to control what im doing and change for the better.
im sorry i made you guys worried. i try to change. but not now. i need time. im not ready.
i just want to play with life now.
the wound hurts, i just want to mend it myself slowloy. need time.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

didi

a new things in my life

how am i suppose to explain to him?
that im not ready for a relationship at all.
how?
can i just tell him?
what will he say?
wud he think im just using him"?
nope, im not.
i just... really not ready
am i gonna hurt him this way..
i guess yes but i cant force myself at all..
HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO TELL HIM???!!!

black

a new things in my life

i think its time for me to forget him.
i guess it was just a waste of my time to actually think that hes faithful to me.
i suspect that he's gonna have another affair soon.
haha, so much for him being with me forever,
thats just crap i guess.
im glad i learnt my lesson fast.
i dont want to be so upset with him that much
but at the same time i dont thin im ready for another relationship.
it feels like im just being used time again and again.
im scared. i dont think i have the confidence yet.
whenever im faithful to him, hes using me.
why cant guys be faithful to girls at all..?
no offence. but to me, guys are just using girls for their own pleasure.
what am i to anyone anyway??
i dont want any relationships yet. i dont know how long i need but im just not gonna have one yet.
to all sweet girls out there,,
DONT LET GUYS USE YOU AT AL;L. IF YOU FEEL THE GUY IS USING YOU OR SUSPECT HES PLAYING BEHIND YOUR BACK,
DUMP HIM STRAIGHT AWAY. DONT WAIT.
let them know girls can rule the world too.

Friday, September 18, 2009

blurblur

a new things in my life

alamak!

my fren angryangry sah
dun like lah
aiyo
i say i drinking
but haven wat
leks ah!
slash no big fuck lah sia
im cool!

BLACky

a new things in my life

i think u forgot about me
i think u can find sumone new fast'
i think u can easily fall in love with someone else
i think ure not seriou about us
i think ure just using me indirectly
do you even love me truly
said u wouldnt leave me no matter wat
even if i leave u, u wouldnt leave me
but now,
ure gone for real
and i didnt expect its too fast
i wanted us to stay long but its ever meant to be
i duno wat to do now
the innocent guy whos waiting
what shall i do with him
im scared, dowana hurt him
hais.,.
so complicating
black black
WHY DO I EVEN LOVE YOU SO MUCH WHEN YOU DONT EVEN LOVE ME BACK?
my love is just wasted.. on you!
you dont even care!
you said ' i love you but i hate you now '
i guess you really forget me
and i guess u regret having me
i love u but i hate u too
a new things in my life

wee...
raya lagiks one more day lah sey
tk sabar ah
wee..
dpt duit raye.
tk sabar!!
hais enth biler i nak dpt my a7x nye cd lah sey.
haha
haighs.
hari raya menjelang, N level pon cuming.
mepeks sah!
SADSAD

Friday, September 11, 2009

-----!!!!!!!!!!!

a new things in my life

didi!!
i want tht avenged sevenfold CD~!!!!!!!!!!!

meow! gerek seh!!
how much ah!!!!?
i pay u ah!!

---

a new things in my life

he puts a brave front when hes with mie
he puts up a smile fr mie to see when hes with mie
he puts mie on top of his list
he doesnt thinks tht im at fault

im scared i might hurt him further
wat if things wont work out at all
especialy when he said is ther even a high chance tht we can be tgether?
i love to love him and i want to be loved by him but can i even confirm we can be tgther? is he even willing to wait? is he really serious abt mie?
i duwan to accept him just to have him as a replacement to frgt sumbody wich is nt worth of having mie, black..
if i noe tht its just wasting time remembering him, y cant i just frgt him?
i guess its easier said than done..
why are things complicating for us when we atually find them easy?

why does life kips twisting around?
good to bad and bad to good

its kinda funny tht sumtimes i think death is best way to end out troubles when i noe its sinful to commit suicide.
but having life which is painful hurts more.
but wat can i even do? nuthing at all..
???

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

wats happening??

a new things in my life

im rapping a story abt my fwends out ther..
hey yo..
whatts happening ter ma fwends outt ther??
uu guys aree fighting outt ther, its scaringg me..
why does misunderstandings always happen?
why cant ther be peace among ya' all!?
take a chill pill and just RELAX..

okays dee's talking bullshit

to ma dear thetun and didi out there,, chill out yawe!

u guys are fwends man! no use fighting over nothing!!
peace..

untuk gadis ayuu ku

a new things in my life

thanks aLOt ayuu frr helpingg miie edit myu blogg.. tkder time and i bett ure more expert in bloggings! =))
thankyous syngg!!

why why why

a new things in my life

hari raya

a new things in my life

i wonder what will happen to hari raya. everybody is at their longgerheads. i hope we wud be happy like the previous one.
WE WANT TO GO AIN HOUSE THIS YEAR!!
why why why cannot? haha..
hmms umah dia cute lah sey. and cosy!!
wee..
plus i got my kuih layang2 ready...
i really tkder orang pangai this year for example ppl which are in longgerheads between each other, those who read this shld know wat i mean.

kalau nk ikot, IKOT. tknk, stay at home and merana tk dpt duit raye!!
muahaha!!

hmms i really hope everything wud be fine!
wee..

didi

a new things in my life

sometimes i wonder am i just using him as a replacement? as much as i dont want to hurt myself but i definitely dowan to hurt him more.
kesian seh dia.. gave us a chance and then in the end i asked for the break away. hais.. why was i stupid? why cant i just forget about the black mama?
i guess now i have to focus on my studies rather than on other things.
especially my family matters..
i knows he wants a patch soon,, i really hope it wud happen. one day..
i really hope so..
but i aint know whats gonna happen in the future.
but i hope its a gd thing,
im really sorie didi.. i didnt mean to hurt u.. please dont be sad, im always here=)

i want him to take gd care of himself.
and dont do stupid things. like me.

takecares didi!

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

...

a new things in my life

the guy who treats me as his hope
the guy who says i made him feel alive again
the guy who doesnt treat me as a garbage or sucker
the guy who says i'm the only person that makes him happy with my magic
the guy who thnks i'm something
the guy that treats me as
DEE*

the guy is didi[:

but i DONT KNOW , IM STILL SCARED!!
p!ouVrVd=paranoid dEE
a new things in my life

at times
i feel like hurting myself
i feel like killing myself
i feel like being alone
i feel like being a sadistic bitch
i feel like owning a cigarette shop
i feel like like having a time machine
i feel like like seeing my future
i feel like changing my life
i feel like taking drugs to control me

didi

a new things in my life

we started talking
we started chatting
we started laughing
we started giggling
we stared flirting
we started fighting
we started being emo
we started our patch
so far, things were rough for us but now
we're fine .. smooth..

Wednesday, August 26, 2009

a new things in my life

why does things get complicated for me every single time? why does unwanted problems have to come when i didnt even asked for it to happen? why does unwanted stuff just happens?
i dont even know why things are happening.. families , we're always fighting for no reason . friends , we're not talking to each other at all . me and hairee , me and ain . i dun undrstand a single ting. what i do to upset them or what. so far as i think i guess i neve did anything, but why must things turn bad, as if its getting worse. why does tings get so bad.? im already stress up in studies and at home . I JUST DIDNT ASK ANYTHING BAD TO HAPPEN. I DONT NEED THIS SHIT RIGHT NOW. THIS IS SO BULLSHIT! I DONT WANT THIS LIFE NOW, I DONT WANT BAD THINGS TO HAPPRN. I DONT WANT ANYTHING RIGHT NOW. I JUST WANT PEACE, FOCUS IN MY STUDIES! I DONT WANT ANY FIGHTS ANU MISUNDERSTANDING!!!!!! IM FUCKED UP WITH THIS LIFE!!!

Tuesday, August 25, 2009

ain

a new things in my life

ain has always been a gd friend and hopefully she always will be .
she gave me laugh she made me smile and was there for me at my ugliest moments . i just hope things will get fine between me and her ASAP .
i want us to be crazy like last time , i really hope so . please fulfil this wish!!!

i want happy moments for bestfriends , i really dont want ugly moments , hais...
dearest allah , fulfil my wish . me and ain to be fine !!

didi damdam

a new things in my life

ever since you enter my life, things do get better, you were ther to comfort me, you were ther to console me lend a helping hand love me and show care and concern . every single day, you wud try to bring light to my life and it does cheer me up everytime .
althou life aint perfect , but at least having you around , its just great . i duno what wud happen in future . like didi says friends comes and goes , as for my case i hope he wun go that fast .
i dont want to lose a boyfriend , an angel , a buddy , a bestfriend or a lOvEr .
i'll try to live with what im living now , i guess i should treasure and cherish in whatever i have now .

edit of my life

a new things in my life

if i have a time machine, i wud change every bad things that happen in life and mend it well
if i have a time machine, i wud see wad things shud be undone and make it perfect
if i have a clicker, i just click to the gd stuff i have in life
if i was a camera, i wud love to take pictures of my life and mend it in a proper way
how much things i wana be but i guess it wont happen.
life just seems to be getting in my way to whatever i wana do.
i just wish things just get well soon .

life is all about shit

a new things in my life

life to me now is just shit
life to me now doesnt seem happy
doesnt seem meaningful
doesnt seem interesting
doesnt seems to get into whatever and how i want to
doesnt seems to bother about whats gona happen to me
it just seems stress
just seems fucked
just seems bad
just seems rotten
just seems nothing is important in life
just seems SUX SUX SUX..
wonder what life is all about..

Friday, August 21, 2009

AUDIthekiller

a new things in my life

wee..!!!
i made a new friend! and i like him!!!
haha.. "sweet" bioy!
happy to get to know him!!
nyahaha!!

aggressive

a new things in my life

i dunno wads happening to miie, ive been getting into alot of fights lately and im kinda of fed-up abd disappoitd with myself.. i duno how to explain to the emotions im showing, i just noe i was aggressive,angry,violent and behavin like a bitch, i aint noe wat got into miie, i just noe i was behaving liktat, i cudnt control my emotions and end up fighting in skul with ppl and almost got kicked into the counselling rm!! man i hate tat!! apart frm tt, i dint sort out my thinking at all. i continued shitting outside and start fights outside, i duno wat was i duing! i was rude to my parents, i went smoking, i duno wat was i duing..
wat was troubling me, i duno either..

i just felt that i was a bitch and i admit i was.. im sorie to my frends, i didnt mean it,
im trying to. and as fr counselling, i'll think abt it,XD
hopefully tings wud turn fine..
i noe i have to change

Thursday, August 06, 2009

Confuse

a new things in my life
I found out he havent forget me yet and he still loves me and I wonder why?! Why is he unable to forget me?! He should be forgetting me carry on with his life and do what he wants. I want him to stay happy too.. But how do I tell him, I find it difficult to tell him, all I do, is pray for him. I hope he still remember the promise he made. I dont him to go back to his old life. I dont know how to talk to him.. How? Just forget it.. At least we are still talking now. Hahah, be happy ...... :)

Thursday, June 25, 2009

a new things in my life

250609
went out wiff my boyfrens & galfrens,, celebrating our boyfren advanced bdae & frends out!! had funn! got a little bored and showed tantrum,, but it was ok thou!!
haha. tried to speak to hairee todae bt he showed lyke he wasnt interested so didnt bother so much i didnt tok to him at all. no one textd so just dun bother!(:
i ave the bdae boy a hug and his present, just happy for bdae boy since hes happy!
well just next time then..

wish everyday will be a happy day for me(:
a new things in my life

recently i celebrated my cuxins bdae, it was so freaking fun & i really enjoyed it! just wish time wud stop at tat tyme so i can stay happy liddat! cant wait to meet her again for the actual bdae party!
well sadly tat day, it rain,, hais..
well i just hope thers another tyme liddat! wud definitely be happy!!

Friday, May 29, 2009

SINGLE

a new things in my life



I AM GOING TO STAY SINGLE FOR NOW .
I AM JUST GOING TO CONCENTRATE IN MY STUDIES .
I AM GOING TO STUDY HARD AND FOCUS .
I WONT BE HAVING ANY RELATIONSHIPS AT THE MOMENT NOW .
HAIGHS ...

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

dudubird is a sucker for life

i cant believe i cried todae. tt stupid art teacher of mine, dudubird, she critices me like fuck. i feel so hurt. & she even complain to the other teacher-in-charge abt me. hypocite fucker bious. i hate her to the core. cos of her my art marks are so getting down this year. how i much wanted to scold her back. no wonder still haven marry. no one want her. hais,, actually im utterly disappointed in myself. why cant i draw well like my friends , i guess i dunhaf a talent like my dad. shes just never impressed in anything i do. i guess im just sum rotten apple in the art class. im jus a typical singaporean which wun live well in her life. i lost my confidence bcos of dudubird. how much do i hate her, so much. shes the last person i want to see when i die.
hais, i know i cant do well in art but why am i still drawing & wasting my time finding informations for my art, why do i still care? weird! u dun even noe urself nura?! how shameful! hais..
erms,, well why shld i care tt much?! shes going off soon anyway. bon voyage man! i cant wait wen shes gone!
i duwan to be crying again&again bcos of her.
i still go other matters i nid to see to.. muahaha..

Saturday, May 23, 2009

i confuse

a new things in my life

recently after i broke up with him , two new guys came to my lyfe and trys to held their hand into my lyfes , they wanted me to gif them a chance and that they'll takecare of me . i didn tell him about it cos we dint seem to be toking that much anymore . we just talks casual . i dint tell abt my problems and i duno shld i tell him . i dun think hes interested either . at this moment of tyme , i wanted him by my side giving me support but why am i always running away from him ? i know i was running away so far from him from everyone even my family members . i just feel that im so far right behind and they are at the front waiting for me . but i just duwan to move ahead . im too scared , things are happening so fast in a bad way . why cant things stay calm ? why are things moving so much now or am i too slow ?
my close frend , hairee doesnt even bother anymore . i felt brokenhearted , i just feel like the whole world is hanging at my shoulders and im terribly tired , i just want to run away as further as i could so i dunhaf to face the downs .
i never feel so scared in my lyfe before , i duwan my ****** to break , but how do i tell him the problem???
i guess nothing good wud come of it either .

Sunday, May 17, 2009

dyingg for vengence

ii duno wads happeninn to mii but all ii knoww was i wantedd revengee forr muyselff and my familly.. i wantedd te avenge to thosee who destroyedd miy lyfe made miy lyfe unhappy sad ruinn..
ii wantedd thosee who treatt me badly to feell the waayy ii feell.. ii hate ppll hu destroy otherr ppl happiness.. do theyy everr thinkk wads dherr outcomee,, wad wudd happen afterr thatt,, how wudd the persoonn feell..
do theyy everr thinkk whadd iff they're underr our shoess!?

takingg advantagee of mii lyke i was a piece of shitt!
do theyy thinkk of my feelinggs , NO!!
do theyy thinkk whadd has becumm of mii , NO!!
do theyy thinkk how does the thingg changge mii to this way , NO!!
whadd du theyy thinkkk, theyy just thinkk nuraa is a kid tuu playy withh tuu toy aroundd withh tuu use herr and thenn dumpp herr..
now the life circlee hass changged..
-SHE WUN LET ANI1 DESTROY HER LIDDAT-
-SHE WUD SEEK VENGENGE FOR HERSELLF-
-SHE WUD DESTROY THOSE LYFE WHICH HAS DESTROYED HERS-
-SHE WUD FIND ANIWAYS JUST TO DESTROY-
-SHE WUD SAVE THE INNOCENT PPL FROM THE CLUTCHES OF THOSE MOTHERFUCKERS-


she wunnt stop just yett till she gets satisfiedd of herr revengee..!
so all the motherfuckers out therr,,
this sadisticgaga will RUIN YOUR LYFE!!!
i am the "fucker of all fuckers"..
this is wadd has becumm of mii
after wad uu did to me!!

--him--

_17th may_
hee camee todaee witt alexx.. seriouslii ii hatee alexx to derr coree forr bringingg himm alongg.. i was upsett & fumingg inn angerr, cantt expectt alexx liedd to mii!!
still ii calmm myselff downn.. ii lookk at habeebb ii wass speechless ii didntt knoww whadd to tell him speakk to himm or whadd.. i cud onlii lookk at himm..
derr same wayy i lookk at himm andd ii was speechless but dhiss tymm the feelingg was differentt,, i wass scaredd..
we all satt down,, he wass waitingg forr an answerr..
bhadd all ii cudd wass staree at himm into spacee..

at last ii told himm let mii tokk to alexx ferstt.. & he wentt awayy.. dherr next momentt he koledd askingg forr a stickk.. i was surprisedd.. i guess he reallyreally did startt backk.. or is hee justt doingg it on purpose to spite mee..

i & alexx tokk whilee walkingg to kfc.. we eatt & we tokk..
uu really wanna noe.. i tell uu now//
i was UPSET ANGRY DISAPPOINTED & HATRED WAS insidee mee!
~we were textingg abt my sisterr x & he startedd sayingg diss phrasee..
_i am goingg to bite uu_
i dunno but i kindaa hate itt.
i was angryy & speechlesss.. i justt didnt lykkee him harpingg on the samee thingg againn..
wenn i gavee himm a warning he didnt listenn, till i ask himm the questionn BREAKK..
he startedd panikingg & tolld me finallly tatt it wass his sisterr hu type dherr thingg,, i hate himm.. dhis is the 1st hatred..
he cudnt accept it & he keptt thinggs fomm mii.. dhis the 2nd hatred..
he keptt sendingg dherr last tymm msggs mii sendingg himm,, i feell irritatedd! i cudnt standd it anymorr so i scoldedd himm..
dherr was nuthinn ii cudd do to stopp himm.. all ii know is he wass determinn forr a PATCHH but i justT WASNTT readyy.. ii didntt wan patch.. therr was still so much hatred but ii dunoo..........
therrs too muchh thinggs ii wanaa focuss on witoutt any disturbancee..
ii justt want................

Friday, May 15, 2009

HELLO! DONE BY ME-LIYA! haha. Specially for COUSIN DILLA!